another shot

9 days more

2012-01-26T08:06:00.000-08:00

Next time i blog i would be married i guess

So our trad is in 9 days.....that is next weekend

All is set

All that is left is follow - up calls to vendors

I'm not excited.....i'l explain why maybe later

That said, i would do all i can to enjoy my day as a lot of my efforts and money have gone into it

I need a little help though

The fiance's birthday is the day after the trad, wanna get him something not too pricey (obviously!!!) he can use for the church wedding.

He isn't expecting anything as we'v discussed that I'll buy him a proper gift when i go to England in April.

But this is his first birthday as my hubs figure i should give him something.....

Any suggestions??????

P.s seems like miss Definitely maybe passed on if the anonymous on her page is to be believed! wow!

random wierd ish

2012-01-08T14:25:00.001-08:00

Its almost midnight. I'm lying on my bed. Listening to music from the 90s. Its making me nostalgic.

Some of the music reminds me of my ex.. Our love for rap music and jay z was one thing we had in common. Funny how I spent six years with him and I can't really remember our relationship per say. Its like that part of me never existed. I wonder at the fickleness of love. How can someone be your world today and Tomorrow irrelevant in the grand scheme if things.

In less than 4 weeks I'll be married. I remember being that little girl that stayed up the entire night digesting romance novels, wondering about prince charming and how it felt to be swept off my feet and find true love and live happily ever after. When did I grow up and how did it happen so fast? I'm tempted to go and wear my wedding dress. Its hanging in my wardrobe waiting for my big day.

I'm crying....I don't know why. I'm so emotional these days. The slightest thing makes me cry.

Earlier this evening I looked at my dad and I felt so bad for all the fights we have had over this wedding planning. Some people wish their dad was alive to see their big day and here I am stressing about him hijacking my wedding. I love my dad so much and I'm thankful to God for keeping him and my mom alive to be a part of this.

My mom.....my respect for her has tripled since I became engaged. Its so hard to be a woman in this male dominated world. Harder self to he Married to a man like my dad I guess...its hard being his daughter....wonder how it is to be his wife. Childbirth...nurturing...all the sacrifices....its not easy at all. I pray God blesses her with long life to enjoy the fruit of her labor.

My friends have been amazing throughout this process. I have few friends and they have all cone through for me.

This whole planning process has been a roller coaster of emotions. I guess its almost here.

I just need to survive the remaining three weeks.

I wonder how marriage would be....I pray its nowhere close to what this planning has been though.

I guess I'm about to find out

The tears are all gone....I'm actually smiling now....wierd indeed.

my sister is getting married tommorow

2012-01-06T13:49:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow. My sister that God sent to another family is getting married.

We'v been friends since I was six and we moved to Lagos from Kaduna. She was the cute friendly little seven years old in the jeans mini skirt & cream top in church that sunday that was the beginning of a 19 year relationship.

She was the only daughter of her parents like I was and we decided to be each other's sisters.

By some stroke of fate, we ended up in the same secondary school. I remember those Saturdays she spent practicing to weave hair with mine (she soon perfected it like every other thing she laid her hands on).

She helped me grow spiritually and I helped her focus academically.

After secondary school, we went to the same jamb lesson. Ah! Those days of breakfast in her house.

Remember when she came to my house to tell me she got admission. We both cried and wrote about each other in our diaries. Lol.

Then her family moved to abuja! We did not have the holidays anymore.

When I got engaged I called her and she was so happy for me. Two weeks later she called me that her boyfriend proposed.

Fastforward to December. I bought my tickets to abuja. So I could go by road with her and her family to jos for her wedding.

With all these bombing and boko haram threat. My mom & my dad asked me not to go. Was gonna disobey them but they have a point. The whole Nigeria is unsafe. The North is triply unsafe.

My sister is getting married in jos tomorrow and I am here. Lying on my bed in Lagos, typing this, tears in my eyes.

Screw this country

Screw boko haram

Screw the Government for making fuel subsidy their priority with the current state of insecurity in the country

Happy married life J

Happy new year everybody

2011 wasn't bad

2011-12-24T11:50:00.000-08:00

I turned 25

I got engaged

My fiance got a new job

I attended some interviews

Dint get any job though

I had my marriage introduction

I started planning my wedding

I digress

I always wondered about my friends that planned their wedding admist many drama

Unfortunately I have realized that when multiple people have vested interest in anything arguments must surface.

i'v had many argument and one shouting match with my dad who I think had made this whole thing about him and what he wants forgeting that it may not be what we want or what my inlwas want

I have quarelled with the fiance and honestly we"v thought of canceling the wedding over silly stuff like number of guests.

Yup....that's how things can get apparently

2012 is a pregnant with expectations for me.

I'm getting married in 5 weeks

Can't wait for it to be over

I hope to be a better person

To be a good daughter to God

To be a good wife to my husband

And a better employee to my employers.

I pray I get a new job

I pray the wedding go well

I pray marriage lives up to my expectations

Merry xmas and happy 2012

P.s don't know wassup with my template. Regardless of all the spacings my last two posts including this comes out cramped. How do I fix this?

my dress

2011-12-19T05:09:00.000-08:00

I got my dress today.

I almost cried when i tried it on.

It was so lovely, the lace beautiful, the crystals on it.....arrrrgh i almost cried. LOL

Now i feel like a bride

It was big , however, about two size smaller.

Took it in for fitting

from daddy's house to husband's house

2011-12-08T00:41:00.001-08:00

I never wanted to move from Daddy’s house to husband’s house

I always wondered what it was like to be totally independent; make my own decisions and bear the consequences, go out and come as I please, be a slob, not own any kitchen utensils just because I can.(since I graduated I have been financially independent but never independent accommodation wise, even in the university, I never lived alone, NYSC and the five years plus of work post university, I never lived alone.

I found out soon enough that wasn’t happening in this lifetime. By the time I was 22, I tried to move out due to the commute from mainland to island but daddy wasn’t having any of that. Then the whole family moved to the island and there was no need for any of that.

My fiancé and I have gotten a house and it is very beautiful. Finally I have a place, even though I don’t get to live alone, even though I don’t get to be a slob, even though I have to cook and cook regularly for that matter, I am very excited. At least I get a say on the colors to paint, I get a say on what furniture, what utensils, what equipment, what type of décor yay! Yay!

And the best part, it is ten minutes away from the office, so I get to sleep in late and get home early on weekdays. Now I just have to endure traffic for the next 7 weeks.

two weeks vacation

2011-11-28T07:48:00.000-08:00

I rested but not so much. It was my fiancé’s dad’s tenth year remembrance ceremony so we went to Benin for that. It was kind of nice to meet the extended family.

After that we went my home town for our introduction, the weird part was I felt like a spectator like the gathering wasn’t for me or for us, like I was sitting in somebody’s introduction.

When my parents were making the list from our immediate family they said there is an allocation for me to say what I want the groom to buy for me and I said nightgown, my dad was like seriously and with a straight face I said yup! Seriously. My mom requested for 10k, my dad requested for a fabric. All in all the list is very very reasonable, mostly drinks, kolanuts, 20 tubers of yam, N200 brideprice, etc. infact I’v been teasing him that they are dashing him wife.

My parents said that customary they are to buy me pots, plates, cutleries, wrappers, 3 boxes and a gift of my choosing to take to my husband’s house. I have begged that the wrapper matter should be left out, I don’t want them to waste their money and I have no intention of tying wrappers anytime soon. For the gift I chose a deep freezer.

Its two months and a week and 5 days to go and I’m kinda ahead of my workplan which is good. I have even distributed asoebi (although I am beginning to wish I did not bother with this).

We(I and the fiancé) have been quarrelling a lot, I think he’s been spending recklessly for someone that is getting married soon and has a wedding to finance. Also he says I’m a feminist I say he is a chauvinist. You see being the only male child and last of six children, he’s been over indulged so much so that he doesn’t take saving seriously and also I think he was brought up in a “If not for you all daddy’s toils would have gone to daddy’s brothers” male children are king kinda environment. Marriage counselling has helped us put some things in perspective. However after our last fight, we sat and talked about stuff and I think we’v reached a middle ground sorta. I have also resolved within me not to nag him about money for the wedding after all it’s just one day (strike that two days). I have also resolved to stop being argumentative, I know I like arguing but he apparently doesn’t and cannot argue without getting angry.

We found a house yay! It’s very close to our offices YAY! YAY! Now I can look forward to a traffic free married life.

I hate cooking but these days I find myself excited about cooking for him, yesterday he said he was gonna come straight to my house from the airport I happily bounced to the kitchen to fix him dinner, I was even humming whilst cooking, weird!

Anytime I think of him, the wedding, I find myself smiling stupidly. I guess I’m over last minutes jitters.

I am back to work (BBM crying smileys here) and back to the gym, speaking of which; I ate and drank like a glutton these two weeks and the scale did not budge. O well, that wasn’t a complaint.

Count down: 3 months; 1 week.

2011-10-25T02:55:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened since I blogged last. The fiancé has resumed at his new place of work and it has been weird not seeing him at his seat. But I still see him almost every mornings anyways.

Before we started counseling, I thought it would be all about “don’t have sex before marriage”, “be submissive”. “be loving” etc. Thankfully and surprisingly, it has been so deep, practical and useful. We have talked about having a healthy self-image and how a poor self-image affects marriage. We’v talked about stuff that can lead to conflict in marriage and how to handle them. Last week we started our classes on communication, ironically we had a big fight the Friday before and after the class we could see how communication would have helped avoid it. It is really going on well.

The weight loss is also going very well, it has been 12 weeks of going to the gym at least 4 times a week (most times 5 days) and it is paying off big time. When I get my dress (which should get to the store in the US on the 15th of next month yay!). I shall be ready.

My dad is one of a kind (I swear). Have you heard of anybody who’s two parents live in Lagos, travel to the village for introduction so that the kinsmen can be part of it. I said introduction o! not traditional wedding. the man exasperate me. But mumc keeps reminding me that I’m his only daughter so I should indulge him. It would be easier if he was more reasonable but then it is daddy, no surprises. Anyways we have to go to the village in about two weeks

I went for my wedding makeup trial (thank God I did). Cuz I got constructive feedback from a couple of friends and now we know just what work.

I’m sorting out my bridesmaids this week and also placing order for asoebi this weekend. We’v ordered our wedding invitations from the States.

After which I would have music band, MC, wedding bands, clothes& shoes& accessories for bride and groom (traditional wedding), wedding programme outstanding. The fiancé has not ordered or even decided where to order his tuxedo from or what to do about his grooms men. O well, that is not on my workplan so…

Its 3 months, one week to go.

Absu Rape walk + Bridemaid palaver + more testimonies

2011-10-06T02:27:00.000-07:00

I participated in the ABSU rape walk yesterday in Lagos. The turnout was impressive, a good number of guys turned up too. Reporters from the BBC and other media were on ground and the Police and Lastma were behind us as well. We walked from NTA on Ahmadu Bello to Abia State Liaison office on Ahmadu Bello as well, but we walked through the streets In between. All in all, the walk took an hour and half. We carried placards, sang, distributed tracts, etc.

The shocker however, was that most of the men we gave the tracts to, said and I quote “tell women not to dress enticingly so as not to attract rape to themselves”. This was the consensus from mallam hawking on the streets / gatemen to educated, enlightened people in cars. Na wa! We have a lot to do in educating ourselves and our children especially our sons. Even if a woman is naked, look the other way, how does that mean she is asking to be raped? SMH. NO means NO.

See me see bridesmaid palaver! I have three best-friends from three phases of my life; childhood, church and university. I asked the three of them to be on my bridal train plus two others friends. I wanted the University bestie to be the Maid of Honor (MOH), apart from the fact that she is my most recent bestie, she is also in the UK and she can buy her dress there and it would be ok for her to have a different dress since she is the MOH.

My childhood bestie lives in Zaria, our communication is majorly telephone and email based as we probably see once in two years and she is getting married a month before me so no issues on why she isn’t MOH and stuff.

My bestie from church however lives here in Lagos and she is the one that has been helping me with some running around and stuff here. However, she automatically assumed she would be MOH and I couldn’t say she wasn’t, so I became stuck with two MOH.

I am fine with having two MOH, however, University bestie found out that I had two MOHs and is mad and doesn’t want to be on the train anymore. Things have been strained between us ever since.

October has started on a good note for me. I was promoted two steps at the office. Praise the Lord!!!!!
P.S I am still looking to change jobs though.
P.P.S i tried uploading pictures from the walk, but i cant, either the pictures are large or my connection is slow.

4 months to go

2011-09-30T23:02:00.000-07:00

Happy new month.

4 months to go.
preparations are not were I thought they would be now
but I'm still grateful

September was an awesome and testimony filled month for me.

My fiance got a job - we were beginning to consider postponing the wedding, because we did not want to get married whilst working for the same firm. Even though our boss has offered to amend the office policy because he doesn't want to lose any of us, we felt we should diversify our financial risk before marrying. Anyways, when all our parents, uncles, aunties and all our contact failed, God turned up. He did that which only him can do and which only him can take the glory for.

My private client(what we call personal practice "PP") also came through. This is the biggest PP job i have done till date. The deal was signed in January and i'v been waiting on mobilization since April. i guess it couldn't have come in a more perfect time. I am liquid! YAY

This month of October, hopefully, i should accelerate my planning. We found another hall we liked, it was absolutely beautiful, needed little or no decoration, came with a lot of perks, however someone beat us to it. Apparently, valentine weekend is HOT in demand for wedding. We have decided to settle for this, because it is the other perfect place we have found. This means food and drinks have also been taken care of.

We have also started marriage counseling in the church.

Next up on my list is sorting my bridesmaids out, purchasing our rings, ordering our wedding IVs and Programme.

Here to a testimony filled October

Happy independence celebration

Reception Venue

2011-09-02T06:21:00.000-07:00

So last weekend, we went to check out a potential reception venue and we both loved it.

The hall was big with space that gives plenty options for decoration. Also the ambiance was cool, lots of greens, you know garden type stuff, enough spots to take really cool pictures, neat environment, enough parking space. Also because it is a sports recreational club located in an estate, we can rule out people just strolling past and looking for food to eat. The price for the hall was exactly our budget, infact it is cheaper for members of the club and some of my dad's friends are members so we could save about 100k by booking through them. The fiance and i were really excited.

Until we were told we need to patronize them for food and drinks. I haven't gotten a caterer yet, if the food would be good why not? why worry about cooling vans for the drinks, etc. if they can worry about it. and of course they said we could bring in our shayo (alcohol). So we are good yea?

Up until i saw the price list. we'll be paying restaurant price for the food and drinks. and saving nothing for cooking in bulk? i mean 500 people! (we are planning to invite 250 - 300 people and prepare for 500).

When she (the liaison person) sensed my loss of interest, she said she can offer some discounts here and there! she is to bring the revised invoice to my office on Tuesday but i think i better spend this weekend scouting for options.

Happy September! Congrats to Sirius on the birth of her bouncing baby.

P.s i have been having funny recurrent dreams were my bridemaid (a different one each time) refuses to wear their dress on my wedding day! very WEIRD

Why did we struggle to grow up???

2011-08-16T04:27:00.000-07:00

Life is one twisted irony!

When we were in secondary school, we all longed to get into university, freedom! School without uniform, campus life, less parental controls, etc.

Then we got to university and became fed up with endless lectures, project work, assignments, etc. The working class strata became more attractive, Imagine working hard and being paid at the end of the month as opposed to an A grade in our report cards. We imagine being able to spend money on some luxuries we craved but couldn’t dare to mention to our parents.

Then we graduate with good grades and get the dream job and realize that waking up at 5am to spend endless hours in traffic, to sit in front of the computer crunching numbers isn’t exactly fun. We find out soon enough that the take home doesn’t really take us home. Being among the working class population is not as exciting as we imagined it would be.

Then we begin to seek out the next new excitement. What next? Marriage of course. We begin to fantasize about finding “the one”. It would be nice to have someone to be there for us permanently, no worries about if we are wanted for just for sex, or for money, or for looks. This right here is for keeps, forever! Only to find out that living happily ever after is just a fantasy and idols have clay feet.

Then we graduate to giving birth to children only to realize that babies are super cute when they can be returned, not when you are stuck with them 24:7.

Then we wake up one day with 10 teeth, needing the support of a walking stick to move around and we wondered why we grew up, because growing up is indeed a TRAP.

My point???make the most of the phase of life you are right now, cause there is no turning back the hands of the clock.

P.S i'm cranky, anxious, on edge, and uneasy. I need a vacation!!!!!

I am trying to inhale, exhale...breathe

Thankful Monday

2011-08-15T01:57:00.000-07:00

SO I did not get the job I mentioned in my former post and I have been feeling sorry for myself, but there is still a lot to be thankful for so I have to snap out of it sharply and offer my sacrifice of praise. Here goes my top 5:
1. God - My father, my friend. There are times I feel so loved by him, and other times when I feel abandoned by him. But I have come to realize that he always comes through for me and I’m really grateful that I have my prayer book to remind me of his mercies over the years and to power up my faith.
2. Life – Headcount, everyone complete. 7 months of 2011 is behind us, and I have not lost any family member or anyone I love. I can’t take this for granted
3. Love – My fiancé: my lover, my friend. Every day I thank God for taking my all heart desires including the ones I couldn’t dare to hope for and breathing life into it. Now I can read God’s definition of love (as found in 1st Corinthians 13) with a smile. I have indeed found “the one”.
4. Family – I was listening to Chaz B’s sharing life issues sometime last week and the conclusion was that most families are dysfunctional. My family are not rich, just lower average, but they are united, full of life, supportive, loving, caring, and most importantly saved.
5. Laughter - Haven experienced emotional and financial discouragement, disappointment and depression at some point in my life, laughter is indeed a pleasure, a luxury to be thankful for.

Count down - 6 months!

2011-08-04T02:30:00.000-07:00

If it pleases the Lord, six months down the line today, I shall be getting married traditionally. I am excited and scared at the same time.

Before i got engaged, all I saw was wedding pictures, happy couples, etc but since I copped the ring, friends and peeps generally have been coming clean and open; hammering how marriage is not a bed of roses, how it is hard work, how 80% of expectations would not be met, how it is stifling, how it is choking, etc. It is so scary I just want to run away. The fiancé and I have been talking about it a lot these days, the poor guy probably think I’m getting cold feet from the way I’v been bringing all these up, he even asked if I wanted to move the dates up, LOL. No cold feet here honestly, I guess one is always apprehensive about the unknown but truth is there is no one I’d rather be embarking on this journey with, because he is truly amazing and I know he’ll make a good husband and a good father and most importantly we have God as our foundation.

So six months to go, I’m really reluctant to delve fully into planning, because I need to get another job ASAP, we both work together and even though my MD has told me three times, that he wouldn’t want to lose any of us and he’ll find a way to work around it, I really don’t want to get married here. It is too much of a risk financially for both husband and wife to earn a living from the same place. I attended a couple of interviews in July, had the final stage of one last week, so your prayers are solicited o! this is topmost in my request sheet to God.

Anyways, my dress has been sorted out, I’ll get it in November or early December, then I’ll worry about accessories and the like then. I shall register us for counseling this month and we can start in September. Wedding venue has been picked but not paid for yet. I’ll try the caterer for the introduction first, if we are impressed then she’ll do the wedding, the fiance doesn’t want the regular jollof rice, moin-moin and chicken, he wants a really rich menu with different kind of sauces and the like. I’m open to recommendations for vendors especially for everything from MC, band, decorator, drinks, food, everything.

On the weight loss bit, the instructor at the gym asked that i reduce my activity from 5 times a week to 4 times, i agreed (after this month hehehe)

The colors for the white wedding! Peaches and ivory (cream) (was chosen by the fiance o) how does that sound???

For the traditional i want yellow, what does yellow go with apart from brown????

Happy new month! May our dreams come true in August.

4kG lighter + randoms

2011-07-29T01:43:00.000-07:00

Goal achieved for week two as well. So between last Monday when this weight loss journey started and today, I have averaged 15 hours of work out. Nothing like the ~~white~~ ivory dress to keep a girl motivated!

On Wednesday 5 people at work asked if I was losing weight YAY!!!!!!. Weighed myself this morning and I am down to 69KG double YAY!!!!!!!!!! 4KG gone, isn’t God amazing????Now I have just 6KG to lose, then I’ll slow down to maintenance mode!

Thanks for all your comments on my last posts, for people that urged me to eat right! I always try to o! but between my desk job and my car, it is really easy to pile on weight.

SO we’v finally narrowed down to 2 weekends in Feb for the wedding! Triple Yay!!! LOL. So basically I have 6 months to plan which is good news. Next item on my workplan Wedding colors and wedding counseling and introduction in that order.

Happy weekend and happy August!

Goal achieved for week one

2011-07-22T09:06:00.001-07:00

SO I registered and resumed at the gym on Monday.
Was able to meet my goal of 90 mins mon - fri (5 times a week)
Goal met for week one
I really hope I can sustain the momentum
Need to lose 10kg
I ordered my dress in size 12 and that sucked big time
Hopefully when it comes, it comes it would need pleeeeeeeeeeeeeenty alterations cuz I would be a size 8
Thank God it’s Friday.

wedding dress - update

2011-07-19T05:04:00.000-07:00

So I went to consult Nigerian designer I mentioned in my earlier and guess how much my bill was N350,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. (not that the style was anything complicated o! apparently anything that has lace starts from 300k) That was way above my budget and my budget is pretty healthy. I guess that’s typical of us Nigerians, to carve a niche for yourself, you have to be expensive, plus business is good, she had many brides-to-be waiting for consultation as well.
Anyways, I checked some stores and some naija bridal store here and concluded that most of the dresses here are china (inferior made). I am still cringing from some of the “lace” in some of the dresses I saw.

After endless souring online I finally found the dress, It is a Maggie Sottero dress. It is simple, elegant, mermaid style, with lace and Swarovski crystals, it has a long train and comes with inner corset. I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!! Even though it was a teeny weeny bit over my budget plus the fact that I changed dollars for N165 did not help. Bottomline, I have ordered the dress in Ivory and I’ll get it early November. I know someone is thinking to herself all wedding dresses are made in China, yes I know!!! Afterall even Vera Wang does not stay up stitching dresses herself, but I guess Quality Control and Assurance goes a long way.

With my dress sorted, I can face my bridesmaid dresses in August. I have decided not to be involved in tailor matter, or style matter, for obvious reasons, I have been bridesmaid thrice and I hated the style the bride chose for us, I hated the tailor’s handiwork too (terrible finishing). Therefore, we’ll collectively buy the fabric for all bridesmaid so that the fabric would be uniform, then each individual can pick out a style (show me first of course just for my information!) and a tailor and make her dress. Only the Chief Bridesmaid wears a long dress though.
I have also started making a list of vendors, though I have contacted no one yet.

I went to a wedding recently, the couple (bride and groom) were Delta igbo, but the band kept playing Yoruba songs!!!!! I guess these are the softer stuff I should be taking note of.

Finding love in the least likely place (Part Two)

2011-06-12T23:30:00.001-07:00

Can’t say it was love at first sight because we have been working at the same organization for over a year without saying much to each other. I remember thinking to myself once that this new guy has nice shirts and dresses well. I also remember thinking to myself this guy is arrogant and unfriendly.

At some point, we started talking especially when he moved to my hood, he tried hooking me up with his best friend as well. When a bike man ran into my car and took out my doors, I and my brother hitched with him for about 2 weeks to VI.

Anyways, I was ill and din’t come to work for about a week, he called me to say he hasn’t seen me at work, after asking about my health, he went to real reason why he noticed I wasn’t at work (although he won’t admit this!!!), his friend was celebrating his birthday in the hood and I guess they were looking to invite as many babes as possible, so he said I should drop by if I felt better that day.

On the Saturday of the party, I was feeling much better and tired of staying in bed, so I dressed up, went for the party, planning to stay one hour max!, got there he mixed a cocktail for me, and somehow we started talking, he told me about business school, about his career aspirations, his 5-year goal, a lot of serious stuff and I sat there so fascinated, I was really tripped and thinking to myself, wow! He has it all figured out, what a focused guy, what an intelligent guy. We talked for ages, sipping on cocktail, later I found out that other folks at the party thought we were dating or had a thing going but it was a very platonic, sensible conversation majorly (till today, he says, for once in his life he actually had no ulterior motive). Anyways, time to go and he held my hands , looked into my eyes and said don’t go yet babe, the party has barely started. That’s when I felt the chemistry, I scampered home fast. Before is slept, I replayed the whole day in my head, wondered if it was the alcohol that got things twisted in my head, if he acted weirdly, if I acted wierdly, if I gave wrong vibes, if he had a girlfriend, etc , I shrugged it off and slept.

By Monday, the next week, I had almost forgotten the weekend, he started giving me really weird vibes, e.g. a very cute smile when he passes my desk, buying me breakfast or lunch everyday, from there we graduated to chatting on gtalk occasionally, then to texting back and forth and stuff like that. Invited him to mid week service, when we were chatting one day and it was time for me to go to church (he started coming with me religiously), then I invited him to a musical concert at church on a Saturday and he came, the next day Sunday, he came to church without invitation, I just saw him during offering and my heart skipped a beat, that’s when I knew I was in trouble.

Anyways, after about a month or less of all that, we went on our first real date to a very nice lounge on a real date, he told me about his family and their various antics which was really fascinating because my family is relatively small, normal and boring, just us three kids and the parents, he told me about his sisters, their kids, but what distinguished the date, was the way he looked at me, I could hear the sincerity in his voice, also he asked about my education, no guy has ever asked if I wanted to do a masters or what my career aspirations are, the date was really really deep for a first date.

Within the next month, I mentioned I was stressed out, wanted a vacation, (I had used all my previous vacation for my professional exams, this was my first vacation after qualifying professionally) but dint want to take time off and just be at home to be doing house work for my parents, so he invited me to his sister’s house in Port Harcourt, had no intention of going so I said I would think about it, my plan was to just post him endlessly, but somewhere along the line, I decided to go, so off we went to shell camp, port Harcourt for a week, his sister and her family were so nice and welcoming, I got to know him a lot better within that week, I got to see that family was important to him, I saw how great he was with his nephews, we shared with each other deep secrets, I spoke with his mum on the phone that week and he told me he loved me that week, I started falling in love with him that week. When the week was over I was sad to go back to Lagos, sad to go back to work.

We got back to the office, thought it would be weird but it wasn’t. It was like we were in a world of our won really, we saw each other everyday at work, and every weekend. Anyways, the next month, his friend was getting married in Abuja, so I went with him, met his other sister and her family in Abuja. Within the next five months I met his sister who lived in Lagos but was on vacation somewhere in Europe, then met his mum when she came back from the states, then he met my mum, and life went on till the proposal on my birthday.

Dating my colleague turned out to be not hard and awkward as I thought It would be, even though everybody at the office knew, cuz you can’t really hide love especially when it is mixed with romance and passion, it had it perks, seeing him everyday, having him smile at me everyday, being able to discuss work and work related activities everyday, the random breakfast, or lunch, or chocolates, or cake or muffins he treats me to. Infact changing jobs, which we are working on would get some getting used to.

Of course, we have our misunderstandings, quarrels, and down times but I have no shadow of doubt that I am marrying the man God designed for me, specially and custom made. I am glad and grateful, I was able to redeem the pledge which I made in church barely a year ago when I sowed that covenant seed. I am at a point where i can say i am very happy, my soul is happy, my skin is glowing (LOL). I guess all is well that ends well.

Finding love in the least likely place

2011-06-07T11:40:00.000-07:00

As most of y’all know, I dated my ex for 6 years, he was my first boyfriend and we started dating in year two. He was tall, sweet, kind, selfless and things were almost perfect up till the point he was suspended from school for a session, which meant he had to graduate a year after me, he was so depressed and discouraged, I did my best to encourage him, endlessly scoured the bible for encouraging scriptures, etc. I remember telling him to see the situation like someone that came to school to study a five year course as opposed to a four year course

Unfortunately, the one extra year, led to another extra year, and another extra year, I began to resent the whole process, it was ridiculous to me, because, by that time I had finished nysc, had a decent job, became independent of my parents and he was still battling with school issues, I resented the fact that he was having carry overs upon carry overs, like really how hard was it to read?i resented the fact that i had to lie to my family, because my mom kept asking how he was! where he served? where he was working now? and i couldn't exactly say Hey mummy, he is still in school, three years after i had graduated.

However, I kept praying and fasting for him, for the nightmare to be over, 80% of the prayer request in my prayer book from 2006 - 2009 was about him and his situation.

Of course, we started quarreling about money, my office was close to the bank where my salary account was domiciled, so I gave him my ATM card and used my cheque book when I needed to, I cleared my account to contribute to his school fees once because his folks got tired of the endless regular school and summer school programmes, still i was too proud, not humble, not sensitive enough in his onw words about his situation. I wasn’t perfect cause looking back, I should have known that he was feeling emasculated and could have been more sensitive, but the whole situation was troubling and I wondered if i should break up with him

Anyways, things were not good, but not too bad until the physical abuse started, first was a slap, which I forgave cuz, my friends said I shouldn’t have said “if you were man enough” to a man that had self-esteem issues.

Then came the beating a year after which I forgave too, after much deliberation and tabling the matter on this blog i took a break from the relationship but maybe out of fear of the unknown or the fear of forfeiting all I had invested into the relationship (time, money, emotions, etc)i forgave him and took him back and we celebrated our fifth year together .

But a year after, a third beating after, one of the worse and most traumatic event of my life a year which he locked me in the house and acted like a mad man, said all sorts, I needed no shrink or counsellor to tell me it was time to flee for my dear life.

By then my perfect on paper guy had moved on. It was really tough period, lost about 9kg, cried a lot, pondered a lot, prayed a lot, went through bouts of sadness, i felt so so disappointed, i learnt my heart could literally

However i healed, sowed a covenant seed in church and proceeded to have fun, hung out with guys, went on dinner dates, went on drink dates, mostly with ND until I met my prince charming in the most unlikely place. THE OFFICE.

I have always hated office romance and could never imagine dating my fellow colleague. Details on how my heart won my head up in the next post. This is already very long as it is.

The Dress

2011-06-01T04:07:00.000-07:00

Many girls dream about their wedding day before they are old enough to date, fortunately or unfortunately, I am not one of those girls. I have no wedding day envisioned in my mind, so people say “hope you get the wedding of your dreams”, I wonder if it is odd to reply “I actually have no dreams”. LOL.

The only thing I am sure about is that I don’t want a white wedding dress, maybe diamond white, but preferably ivory.

After copping the ring, I worked on the budget and the workplan which scheduled activities to start in August, and was prepared to just sit back and wait till august, however, my friends have been drumming continuously that I cannot plan a wedding in five months that I need to start NOW. No be money them dey use start planning?

Anyways, over the weekend, my friend that got engaged about the same time buzzed me to say she had ordered her wedding dress and I’m thinking to myself already??then she says it would take 5-6 months to be ready. Apparently that is the lifespan of ordering a decent dress, that chilled me out o! it means August would be cutting it close for “the dress”. Anyways she gave me a list of designers to check out Maggie Sottero, Oleg Cassinni, Anfred Angelo and a host of others.

I heard the UK is a very expensive place to get a dress and the US is better, however, me I no get power for US embassy stress, this means ordering online and fitting in Nigeria, which is beginning to seem like a long thing.

So another friend gave me the name and number of a Nigerian designer called Valerie Davids who schooled under Yemi Kosibah and I have an appointment to see her sometime next week, to see what she has done in the past, timelines, and pricing. I’m supposed to go with pictures so I guess its time to start checking out wedding dresses YAY!!!!

Any ideas of any good designer here or abroad or any tips/ hints/ etc to share?

I guess I also have to inform the bridesmaid officially because the two I have told unofficially are itching to pick their dress as well.

Happy new month by the way. The fiancé was promoted today, so I guess it’s going to be a great month.

First Hurdle Crossed

2011-05-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

Spoke with my father on Saturday. Apologized first before stating my point and I guess it was a typical “daddy afraid to lose daughter reaction”. Cuz he had met my boo on numerous occasions, infact after I went to meet his mum when she got back from the US, he came to meet my parents, though it was nothing formal.

Anyways, the conversation was weird. He asked me where we met and how we started dating, his strengths, his weaknesses, at least two quarrels we have had in he past and how we settled, his family, his relationship with his family, his educational and professional qualifications, how he got born again, his church, his ministry, his baptism, etc. This whole talk took more than two hours.
My dad told me that from the little interactions they have had, that he really likes him and he sounded really intelligent (cuz they were able to talk on numerous topics) compared to my ex (insert embarrassed smiley here) and he is happy cuz I’m intelligent and he knows I need a man equally or more intelligent so I can have a balanced marriage. He then prayed for me. I cried a bit. LOL

So he said the boyfriend can come anytime, so he is coming next weekend. I’m really relieved and thankful to my mom for the part she played in all of this.

Anyways, the day after my birthday / the proposal. The boyfriend’s family called me one after the other to wish me happy birthday and also to say congrats on the engagement. His mum said “my daughter, welcome to the family”. LOL. Its weird cuz I always wanted a sister (being the only daughter of my parents). Now I am inheriting 5 sisters (cuz he is the only son of his parents).

So my friend sent me her wedding excel sheet with the budget and detailed tasks( I want to be really organized plus i'm an accountant so…). Total amount was 5.5 million. And I was at the wedding it was very nice and classy but nothing out of this world. Chilled me out o!. I really don’t want the wedding to cost so much was thinking more of 3-3.5 million max (kitchen and upgrading bachelor's pad to habitable home plus honey moon inclusive). Anyways let us see how it goes.

Birthday with Diamonds

2011-05-03T04:02:00.000-07:00

So i turned 25 yesterday

Birthday celebrations started on Friday night, when i went clubbing with my girls. It was a night filled with dancing, catching up and champagne. I ended up not spending a dime thanks to all the men we met and left in the club.

Luckily the my birthday was on a holiday because of the workers day. Decided to cook fried rice with prawns and turkey for my family. Spent the day receiving phone calls, BBMs and facebook notification. The boyfriend was working during the day, although he dropped by briefly to drop my birthday cake and cards.

We were billed to have dinner at southern sun @ Ikoyi, however, work took up most of his time and by the time he finally came at 9ish i wasn’t up for food or the outing. I was in a low-key mode cuz of the waiting and also the mechanic had ruined my car and it wasn’t coming on. So i asked that dinner be moved to today (after work). He agrees and said to drop him off at the hotel were they were working (he still had to work all night), so i could keep his car (since mine wasn’t coming on and i needed to get to work the next day).

At the hotel room he brings out this cute white box, opens it to reveal the most beautiful ring i have seen in my entire life, went on one knee and asked me to marry him. I can’t remember the exact words cause i was sorta overwhelmed (LOL). I said yes, so i’m engaged. The ring is really pretty and it came with certificates for the diamond and bla blab la. Tried uploading a picture, but i need to resize. Il upload later.

Got home and showed my parents, my mom was very happy, my dad sorta dampened my excitement by saying “how can you accept a ring when you haven’t discussed with your dad? Is that the way i brought you up? And bla bla, infact him and mumc almost started quarrelling. Anyways my dad is no stranger to controversies. Anything that is not his idea or his initiative shall always be met with resistance.

Anyways i guess the blog would now be about engagement / wedding stories.

Last year i had my worst birthday ever and this year i had my best ever.

25

2011-04-11T02:49:00.000-07:00

I’ll be celebrating my birthday in exactly 3 weeks
I’ll be 25
I realize that’s quarter of a century
I am excited
I am scared also
I have come a long way from 24
I have grown emotionally, mentally and spiritually
I like the woman I have become
I love the woman i am growing to be
I have met a healthy percentage of the targets I set for myself on my last birthday
I might not know the future, however
I know him that holds it
I know God and
God is good

P.S my last birthday was the worst ever and I am trusting that this would be the best so far. I am considering having a mini party, the last I had was when I turned 16. Well, I still have three weeks to decide.

Been a while I posted, but I’v been reading your blogs and commenting.

P.P.S for vals we ended up going to Sheraton’s four point. The ambiance was really really nice (comfortable chairs, candle lights, live band, etc) but the food was crap as in crap.

Let us keep praying for safety throughout this election period.
Kisses.

I got Married

2011-02-09T23:42:00.000-08:00

So it was the boyfriend’s birthday last Saturday and birthday on Saturday means either wedding or party. We got married…

Just kidding we had a house party. It was fun, my friends, his friends, I got to meet the rest of his crew and vice versa.

Now time to soak garri.

2011 has started off right for me, compared to last year…I have no complains. I also started going to proflex (gym) for aerobics.

For valentine, we have decided no gifts, no cake, no chocolates, just dinner @ Villa Medeici (hopefully)or any where we can get a reservation.

Happy Valentine. Show someone some love

tagged - a lil late but HEY

2011-01-21T10:05:00.000-08:00

So i was tagged by H and P.E.T Projects and Blessing and Him and Her and naijalines and @ilola

The rules are as follows:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post. (Thanks Guys)
2. Tell us 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 other bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know that they have won.

So here goes nothing really:

I have the worst sense of direction ever! I can go to a place ten times and still ask for direction. Infact when I still stayed on the mainland, they removed that celtel billboard you can see on third mainland and I wondered if I was truly on third mainland or lost as usual. LOL

I believe love is life

I hate seeing things in their multiples…it gives me GOOSEBUMPS

I love that my boyfriend writes me poetry

I believe the longer the relationship the less likely it is to lead to marriage

I have the worst menstrual pain ever known to mankind and yet to be unraveled by doctors

I believe that God answereth by fire

I am sure everyone has done this so....

2011 ...renewed hope

2011-01-08T01:16:00.000-08:00

2010 promised so much and delivered so not as much.

I wept emotionally and financially
Discouragement, disappointment and depression were my companions

There were days i had no cash...literally in my purse or in the bank
Salaries were delayed and not even paid out-rightly for three months stretch
my younger brother couldn't return to school...no money to pay his fees
I was called from the office one day that my dad was found unconscious at home
my 6 year relationship crumbled

Misfortunes came in triples

it rained..it poured

all gloom..all doom

But i trusted God
I remembered everything he has done for me in the past
I called upon him
and he answered
He showed me great and mighty things i couldn't dare dream of
He showed me i wasn't alone
He gave me triple for my troubles
laughter for every tear

I couldn't ask for a more perfect end to the year
Indeed God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow

This year, i am hoping to be more true to him
Pay my tithe regularly
Have my devotional everyday
go to church and mid week service regularly, etc

If you are going through a hard time at the moment
just hang in there
God is able
and shall give you joy for your mourning
Just the way morning comes after night without fail

Happy 2011
Keep the faith

Still in Abuja

2010-12-14T04:03:00.000-08:00

Still in Abuja and it has been a mini vacation. Work does not resume till 9 and by 5.30 at the latest i am back to the hotel room.

Free food can be a bitch as awoof they really run belle...haven't put on weight though cuz i go to the gym every day.

My BFF just flew in from the UK..cant wait to see her

I miss my boyfriend..but his sisters (here in Abuja) have done a good job of spoiling me

There seem to be a lot of money in this town...some of my friends, with no clear source of income are living really big

The men are big time ashewos..them no dey use eye see yallow, fine girl.

Cant believe next weekend is Christmas...it just hasn't caught on..might be because i am not in Lagos tho

My parents are traveling..am sorta excited to spend xmas without all them family reunion stuff for once

This year has been the most sporadic year of my life..honestly..i'v had ups and downs..highs and lows..peaks and valleys....

but am really grateful that i am in a great place emotionally and financially at the moment

Merry Xmas

Me+Update+Random

2010-11-08T00:42:00.000-08:00

I don’t need a mirror to tell me that i have put on so much weight...earlier in the year i lost so much weight that my shoe size dropped from 40 to 39..i went to dress sizes down (from a 12 to an 8). But the weight is back again...i guess i have enjoyed one romantic dinner to many, i am somewhere between a ten and a twelve (UK) now and my size 8 shirts do not fit again.. sad..i am thinking of paying for pro flex gym for a month.kai! but the money....either ways dieting begins today.

For those of you that called on me to redeem myself, i tried this weekend o! Made goat meat pepper soup and fried rice and i guess it came out well. The boyfriend was pleased (dont think he had the pepper soup though)

In totally unrelated news, i got this call from some strange dude last week, after introducing himself, he said my cousin who is his mutual friend gave me his number, that he is looking for a girl to settle down from his(my) village and i came in highly recommended, that how old am I? That he doesn’t want anyone above 28...i laughed and said i wasn’t in the market and hung up...the next day my cousin called me and pleaded with me to just meet the guy, blab la, after giving him a piece of my mind for giving my number out without consent and blab la, i agreed to hang out with this dude..

So come Friday, he asks that we do dinner, i say no lunch and he says where i say chose..he settled for sweet sensation...i am not a fan..but hey, .anyways got there some mins before him, immediately he walks in and locates me, he says he is starving and practically runs to the counter leaving me behind. I have never been so amazed or laughed so hard my entire life..no need to bore you all with the date, but il summarize by saying he would never ever pick up the phone to call me again.

This week, i am off to Abuja for a month project..so no driving, no Lagos stress, waking up at 4.30 or traffic for me..for one whole month...i hope the hotel has a gym though..

Be safe and blessed people

Mini update

2010-10-29T07:34:00.003-07:00

Two week back, I decided to cook for the boyfriend, to reciprocate his “many” kind acts. Before then, I had only made yam & eggs & for him, which is his best meal actually.
I wasn’t up for chopping stuff, so fried rice was outta it, so I decided to cook white rice, turkey stew and plantain.
Had grilled the turkey, cooked the rice, was making the stew….when I slept off.. . The stew was burnt black, he ate it like that though, but I couldn’t even manage to eat it..he had to buy me dinner later..since then i have been feeling kinda weird.

Just decided to do a mini update, I am stressed out at the moment.

I need a new job..if your company is looking for a chartered accountant, or a financial consultant hola @ me…

Have a good weekend people

P.S is it true that there is a sallah holiday again in November?

Insulating my heart

2010-09-17T06:26:00.001-07:00

So the writer of one of the very few non 9ja blogs I read has been going through the aftermath of a failed relationship, which reminds me of the ordeal of literally feeling your heart breaking, the physical pain, the endless tears, the feeling inadequate, the depression, the discouragement, the disappointment.

Heartbreak is an awful thing…it is not what one can even wish an enemy…

But the good news is that it always passes…..just the way morning never fails to show up after every night.

When falling in love…it is always advisable to insulate your heart, to remember that always is not forever, I guess that may help lessen the inevitable ache if things don’t go as planned.

Every heart should be insulated….

….I know that….

Iv failed at this

I am falling for him already

It is kinda hard not to fall for a man that loves me (selflessly, generously, words fail me, so I will summarize it by saying) just right

What exactly is the point of love, if you don’t fall face flat into it completely without inhibition????

The point I am trying to make is that am really happy…I could get drunk on it..

How y’all doing?

showing my face

2010-08-25T01:50:00.001-07:00

Just got back from a one week vacation with the boyfriend and it was fun all the way. All my previous vacations since i started work was either for professional exams or grand ma's burial or nysc passing out. This was my first real vacation in 4 years...

Back to work and too much to deal with...I HATE WORK...Pls when is the Sallah break again?

Trust y'all are good...

Open letter to the EX

2010-07-28T01:39:00.000-07:00

Dear You,

It is with great joy in my heart and overwhelming gratitude to God that I write you this letter.

I am so happy because I am whole again, my heart is healed and I am OVER YOU. It is amazing because only last month (June), I was scared that it will never happen. Time does heal every wound for real and morning definitely comes after every night. God is indeed awesome.

Looking back to how much I suffered from January to June, how I wept, wished, prayed, hoped and all I just sigh. However, I forgive myself for all those unnecessary and wasted emotions because you were everything that love represented in my life plus it just felt so right. So right that I dint give margin for error, I dint hedge for uncertainty, I guess that is what made it harder to deal with.

I don’t know the exact day I got over you, I just realized sometime towards the end of June, that I had gone an entire week plus without thinking about you at all, and I had been happy for a while without knowing it, depression, discouragement, disappointment were suddenly foreign to me (tres amazing considering how they had been my companion for the first half of the year).

Am so grateful for everything July has been to me. It has been an amazing way to start the 2nd half of the year and if it is any indication, 2010 is gonna end as a blast for me.
Thanks for your call yesterday, thanks for the invite to see your new house, am sure it is great and beautiful but I’l pass, thanks for missing me, I kinda don’t miss you at all, sorry. Thanks for praying for me, may heavens answer (Amen). I wish you the very best in life.

P.S thanks all for your well wishes, prayers and comments and on my last post, when I said I wanted this relationship to be shorter than the 6 years of my first relationship, I wasn’t being pessimistic, I actually meant the dating process, una no want make I marry? LOL

New Relationship???

2010-07-05T02:23:00.000-07:00

So after 6 months of hanging out and stuff, i am thinking it is time ND and I become a “couple” officially....hopefully this relationship will be shorter than the 6 years of my first relationship....

So this is the point that you wish me luck...

Happy July.

"Free therapy- Honesty Meme"

2010-07-02T01:32:00.000-07:00

So i was tagged by sting to do this....so here goes nothing really:

1. Right now i'm feeling....beautiful…braided my hair with black extensions for the first time (i used to feel i was too light complexioned to do this) and i'v been getting compliments everywhere. LOL.

2. When i'm alone i feel....lonely, which is really annoying cuz you see, I used to be this girl that could stay by herself and read novels and watch series all week long….when did this change?

3. When i'm surrounded by people i feel.....crowded; if they are not people I particularly care about, but when surrounded by my people feel happy or indifferent really..depends on my mood I guess.

4. One thing i hate is...pretense

5. One thing i really like about myself is .....my heart, I think I have a big, forgiving and accommodating heart…I am literally unable to hold a grudge…that’s me

6. When i'm feeling sad I...... just cry my heart…its so therapeutic

7. When i daydream it's usually about.......perfect, faultless love. lol

8. I'm afraid of.....not attaining destiny / living a purposeless life

9. I'm happiest when......things go the way I envision

10. One thing that really worries me is .... making the wrong choices for very crucial issues

11. If i could change one thing about myself it would be.....my dentition

12. If i could be with anyone right now I would be with.... “thinking”

13. The family member i am closest to is........my younger brother

14. If i was really honest with my father I would tell him....I love him and I wish him long life to walk me down the aisle and see my children

15. One thing i regret about my life is ......i don’t do regrets

16. If i only had one more day to live I would......pray and ensure am right with God so that I can spend eternity in heaven

17. If i was really honest with my mother i would tell her.....I luv her, I appreciate her sacrifices and I hope I make much more money quick to give her the life she truly deserves

18. One thing about me that nobody knows is.......my ability to forsee the future …or at least some events in the future…its scary to me…so I don’t share with anybody

19. I hope that someday in the future.....I will make heaven

20. When i think about my family I feel.....loved, lucky and blessed,

21. Something i'm really embarrassed about is......my love or need for attention (restricted to the boyfriend though)

22. One thing about me i never want to change is.....my ability to forgive anything and everything….its truly amazing

23. One thing i feel really proud of it.....my intelligence and determination.

24. Blogsville has helped me to.....vent anonymously

25. One thing i like about blogsville is...... a family.

So is it ok to

2010-06-28T01:11:00.000-07:00

1. Say "i luv you " to your boyfriend of 6 months (if you actually luv him) but he has never said the words to you and you aint sure if he does.

2. Ask how your boyfriend of 6 months, if he is luv with you or how he feels about you generally

Apart from saying if its ok, i'd like to know if its something you can do too....

AND I'D LIKE TO HEAR FROM THE GUYS TOO

P.S. am not in luv with anybody, i dont even have a boyfriend yet, am still hanging out with Nd but no commitments yet cuz his lifestyle is arghhhh....but am having fun

TI where art thou?

2010-05-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

I'm talkin' big boy rides
and big boy ice
Let me put this big boy in yo life

I NEED YOU TO PUT THIS BIG BOY IN MY LIFE

Moving on, thanks y’all for all the encouragement in the last post, really made me feel better.
The birthday was simple, quiet and boring. It rained that morning; I went to church, cooked afterwards and some friends dropped by. Hopefully next year I’l be in a better place emotionally and financially for the big “25”.
Life is a vicious cycle. It goes round and round as long as you keep doing the same thing. You will never get a different result. That said, I also believe people can never change. I saw this somewhere “Love is never about hurting another person – no matter how sorry everyone is afterwards”. I’l elaborate in my next post.

Meanwhile have y’all voted for the blogsville awards..

24

2010-04-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

I'l be 24 next week sunday...

I had a party for my 16th birthday..
Just got admission into Uni..there was every reason to be happy...

I remember vividly when i was turning 18...
O! what a great day that was, i was looking forward to being adult
I was all excited and i had a great time
Received my first kiss on that day

Then i turned 20...i was on the verge of writing my final exams
Excited about the labor market and the thoughts of no school was so exciting

Then i turned 22...
I had just bought my car..
Had a good job
Was making progress with my professional exams

Then i turned 23...
Got qualified professionally
Got promoted at the office
Life was super exciting

And now am turning 24
2010 has not been what i hoped for
First quarter was pretty banged up
Too many dashed hopes
Too many unfulfilled dreams
One nightmare too many
The melt down is catching up
Seems like time is racing
and am just still
Like a spectator
Am just in a messed up place emotionally & financially
But then there is:
still God
Still life
Still hope
Still a job
Still a pay check
Still a car
Still a home
Still family
Still friends
Still blogfam
Still ND
and i'l
still be turning 24!

Update + randomness

2010-03-29T07:05:00.000-07:00

I have sorta lost my blogging mojo so i'l just do a question and answer session like BBB..for my next post..

You can ask me...any question..in the comments session or mail to dolchic@gmail.com and i'l answer honestly in my next post...

MINI UPDATE

Got out of my relationship in January

Right now..am just having mad fun free lancing...

...HOWEVER...

I am considering going into a newrelationship (with ND)..i'l decide after my birthday ...

ND is someone i'v known since 2005...been on and off on my case...cute, tall guy, good job, small money..LOL.. he is however not my usual kind of guy...he is kinda on the fast lane..but am loving the spontaneity, the fun, the parties, the dancing and he gives the word romance another meaning..i think i need the excitement jare

Having an exam free 2010..no books...no lectures..no reading...i kinda miss it

i'v had two job offers since Jan....finding it really hard to leave here but i think its time

I am still loosing weight! my appetite these days is practically zero

Emptied my account to decorate / re-model my room - this singular action alarmed my father because (according to him) its an indication that marriage is not in the cards...but am loving the new look of the room

Attended an ex- toaster's wedding on Friday

Met with the ex's ex on Sunday

My birthday is in 5 weeks - still trying to figure out the ultimate gift for myself

and lest i forget, i joined twitter

My first “single” valentine in 7 years”

2010-02-15T00:23:00.000-08:00

Yup…2010…my first valentine as a single lady in 7 years…had fun…had two valentine dates...woke up at 7..went to church with my first valentine..then he cooked and served lunch (he took out the lights and lit those scented candles ish) and we gisted. He gave me perfume, cards and chocolate..

Had candle light Chinese dinner with "D" my 2nd val…got perfume, cards and chocolate too (like they consulted themselves)….
It was his birthday..i got him birthday cards (2 actually)

The high point of the day for me was when D’s friend came over to say hi while we were having dinner…and he goes “M meet……” bobo could not remember my name…(this is someone that has known me since 2005 and has been on and off on my case since then o!) he was embarrassed…funny enough, I wasn’t…I just looked on in silence….his friend left after making small conversation…he kept cracking his head and remembered in like 15 mins…spent the rest of the night apologizing to me…I wasn’t mad…but decided to let him sweat it out by keeping mum...was too tired to converse anyways

So much traffic on the Island..got home late…

Gave all the chocolates to my brothers…am loving my recent weight loss ….dont want to mess it up…

I wore a UK size 8 dress yesterday. ..!!!! I’v been a size 12 at some point o!

Dint buy no valentine gift for nobody...yes yes

So that’s how I spent my vals…

Valentine, 2011, who knows maybe I’l be married…maybe I’l be in a serious relationship…maybe I’l be single…maybe I’l be nursing a broken heart, maybe I’l be on the mend..MAYBE..whateva!

Today, just heard a good news and am kinda high infact drunk on the goodness, mercies and compassion of the Lord, who giveth without adding sorrow..i'l share later

Piss on y'all

Today

2010-01-26T03:14:00.000-08:00

Father, now it seems inexplicable
It is painful; it is hard; almost unbearable
But i know it wont kill me.
The only way it will take me is forward

I am sure that on the day i wear the white dress...
I'l be properly grateful for today.
Amen.

simply grateful

2009-12-22T23:22:00.000-08:00

The year started on a good note..bought my tear rubber in feb..got promoted in April...moved to our new house in June..

Then toward the end of the year, after Lamido's tsunami things took a down turn...salaries started coming in late, pay slash etc...depressing really..but this past Monday God decided i should have a reason to rejoice...final results for the professional exams i have been writing came out..AM CHARTERED..

So i have a lot to be grateful for in 2009 really...

Life and good health

A job and salary to look forward to at the end of the month (thousands of folks have their jobs in December alone due to downsizing, rightsizing and pack up of many businesses especially in the financial sector)

My admission to a professional body - (wrote the 5 diets back to back without failing any paper)

My brand new car

Our new house

My boyfriend

My work-out regime

My 65kg weight (from 71kg)

My brother's job

Here is to a better and dream fulfilling 2010. merry x-mas folks and happy new year. Whatever you do, do not forget the reason for the season. JESUS CHRIST

Do you think? (Random post)

2009-10-21T00:52:00.000-07:00

that you will read your blog posts in say 5 years and feel ssilly?

I stumbled on my university diary and read it from cover to cover and just felt silly...all those childish rant...then i also wished i could be that carefre again, when my idea of a problem was getting a B grade in Mat 110 or missing "when you are mine"...(Paloma and Diego)

I long for the days when i dint have to budget half of my salary on aso ebi buying and attend weddings every frigging weekend...

Anyways moving on...my latest obsession has been fitness...for about 4 months now, iv been going to the gym a minimum of 2 times per week and i can proudly say....drums roll...that i'v dropped from 70kg to 64kg...NO DIETING. just 30 mins on the thread mill and 30 mins aerobics...

I wonder how beig married feels....

i wonder how being pregnant feels....

I wonder how it feels to be a mother...to have a tiny weeny cutie...

soonest i'l know...

I am looking forward to my vacation in 2 weeks...cant wait...

You vs Him

2009-09-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

With you I am happy but incomplete…

You spoil me with Tender Loving Care, you understand me, you know what I am capable of, You I can tell my every thought, express my every desire.

With you i am not self conscious, with you I can be myself, with you I discovered the joys of loving someone when the person loves you back

You are so romantic, so selfless, so giving, you know the right words to say, the right way to say it and how to make a girl feel special

But,

You have raised your hand to hit me twice, you are over possessive, you are insecure, you have family issues, you have no job, you have no income, your upbringing is the opposite of mine, you have a lackadaisical approach to important things, you never took your studies seriously, you don’t understand my job and my career aspirations….

when I look at You, all I see is a man I luv, a man with no potentials

With Him I am happy but incomplete

He is a good Christian, he has a job, he is intelligent, he is focused and driven, his upbringing is at par with mine, he is sweet, he is decent, he is a gentleman.

He draws me close to God, he makes me laugh, he is caring and loving, he is kind and selfless

Him, I can look up to for spiritual, financial and on the job guidance since we are in the same industry

With him, I am not who I am but who I want to be

But

He is not as tall as you are, he is not as romantic as you are; he is not spontaneous like you, he doesn’t make me cry like you, he doesn’t know me like you do, he has no idea what I am capable of doing

When I look at him, I see a man I can fall in luv with, a man with potentials but a man that is not YOU

How important is luv?

2009-08-24T04:50:00.000-07:00

in a marriage that is...

The bitter sweet emotion of loving someone and having that person luv you back is an emotion everybody should experience at least once in a lifetime..

I grew up reading all them romance book, believing in prince charming and happy ever after...
but these days, with the rate of divorce on the rise...i have to ask myself how important is luv...afterall these folks getting divorced didn't they luv each other at some point? when they said" I do" were they not in crazy luv?

So i have decided to re-define my "to look out for' in choosing a future partner..here is my top 8..

Top on the list is religion...i want someone that has the same beliefs and faith as i do..infact i want at least one of his parents to have these beliefs and values

Intelligence ..i want my children to be smart

Financial stability - You have to earn more than me...i'v been in the opposite band wagon...the insecurities...God! JUST believe me....this does matter

Romantic - them dinners, gifts, roses, chocolates, card...YES YES YES...bring them on

Predictable - Am so done with spontaneity

Organized- this is because i am highly disorganized

Manly - No mushy mushy guy pls...i can cry a bucket for both of us when necessary

Basket ball height < or = 6 feet - this used to be no 1..but now i guess it doesn't matter so much anymore...but please (God let him) be at least my height

where to draw the line

2009-08-10T02:21:00.000-07:00

Growing up, my father made was very influential in a lot of decisions I made…like I wanted to go to arts class..he thought I was too bright to waste away like that so he instructed me to go to science class…now am working andfirm…writing my final diet of ICAN this year…
I was gonna move to a rented apartment cuz the commute from the mainland (ikeja) to the Island (VI) were I work was hellish my father raised the roof…no daughter of his was gonna live alone…what decent girl lives alone when he parents are alive and bla bla…so I decided to move in with my mum’s younger sis in Lekki phase one…my papa no gree…anyways I busted o!lived with the traffic and life moved on
After school, when job offers came to, my father steered me to making a decision on which to accept

And a lot of other decisions I can’t write about for lack of zeal and energy

Anyways this year I decided to buy a brand new car and my dad gave me HELL..literally…he was of the opinion that a 22 (was 22 then) years old, single girl had no business driving a brand new car, what will people say an so on…but I put my foot down…it was my own hard earned money no be say aristo wan buy am for me…so I went ahead and bought the car…the day the car landed my dad did not come down to see it…he just pretended like it did not exist…the succeeding month was hell so much
So that I was considering clearing my account to rent a flat…for I couldn’t do anything right in the sight of my father…and I knew everything was anger cuz of the car

Fast-forward six months to the present

My dad drives this car like its his own…sometimes without even telling me, he doesn’t hesitate to brag to his friends..“this is my daughter and this is her car”
And I wonder what If I dint go ahead..

This year also I changed my church from my parents Baptist church cuz I felt I wasn’t growing spiritually…hell was raised..but I put my foot down and I think am spiritually better for it today

So I attended a wedding last weekend…the bride and groom were my friend in school. They have been together for 6 over six years now…since year one in school..

They wanted to get married last year but the girl’s parents have always been opposed to the whole relationship and marriage cuz the bobo is muslim& from a polygamous home while she is Christian…she tried to persuade them and stuff..as they no gree..she ran away from home to the guys house…anyways she got pregnant that is when they finally agreed to let her marry him…;last weekend @the wedding ceremony she looked so heavy like she’s gonna give birth soon.
And I know when we were in school she was saving herself for marriage (as in no sex policy) an now she had to be wadlng up and down on her own wedding day..

That said they say what a child sees standing up, the elders see sitting down (literally meaning elders..parents…are wiser), the bible also said “obey your mother and father that your days may be long on earth….”
I know they had a valid point..marriage is hard enough you might as well go in with as much leveled ground as possible..but are some mistakes not the individual’s own to make..the most painful mistake is the mistake somebody else coerced you into making…your own mistake you can still live with.

Bn a while i posted

2009-07-29T09:53:00.000-07:00

but iv been doing my blog rounds actively....things seem to be slow these days in blogville but not in my life.....

Got promoted at work
Passed my professional exams...am writing my finals soon
Doll (thats me) celebrated her blogversary
We (my family) moved houses...from the mainland to the island

my relationship....too much drama...all my own making of course.....i dont know what has come over me...

Quarter life crisis i blame you this confused state i find myself in

Why cant i make a decision and stick by it?

Anyways as per my other blog..haven't started posting...when i do it'l be public

Orgasm

2009-06-03T05:31:00.000-07:00

Research conducted by Yours Truly, shows that holding urine back could lead to Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), weak bladder….and orgasm…Yes ORGASM…

About 5 years ago…or longer….I realized that when I hold back urine..i get orgasms…

Although at that point I had no idea that it was called an orgasm…it was just a pleasurable feeling that lasts for 10 seconds and shakes me a little at the end.

The orgasms are more “out of this world” if I help it with my thoughts….

I always thought I was weird until I stumbled on an article last week about women getting orgasms from holding back urine…out of curiosity I googled it up and saw that this is quite a common phenomenon…

But the fear of UTI and weak bladder has put the fear of God in me…maybe its just better to leave the orgasm generation to the men

But I swear..this urine induced orgasm is more powerful…

Totally Random

2009-04-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

I’l be a year...23 to be precise this weekend...where are the May babies in the house???

Anyways was just reflecting on my life...i was promoted at work last week, the pay is gets better by the second, i bought a brand new car this year, am months away (by God’s grace) from being professionally chartered.

I seem to have achieved a lot for a girl my age but there is this nagging restlessness i cant shake off...this dissatisfaction, anxiousness ...am sorta on edge or is it bored... like waiting for what next..

Its just annoying cuz i cant place my hand on the cause..if its my job, my parents, my boyfriend, my car, my house ....LOL

Maybe its the numerous aso-ebi i keep buying, maybe its cuz my closest girlfriend just put to bed at 4am this morning...

Do i want to get married...NO..Not yet...i don’t want kids now...so what is my problem....why do i spend a lot of time these days thinking about marriage and kids and scaring the living shit out of myself...

My life is lacking excitement...

I need a new job so that i can get a life...

I guess am having quarter life crisis

Anyways make una join me thank papa God for an extra year and his never ending mercies...

If nothing else am sure he truly luvs me...

14th April 2004

2009-04-14T01:12:00.000-07:00

It was a wednessday. We just returned to school from the Easter break. I had made up my mind during the holidays that I was ready to be yours…

We had dinner and I said yes…that we could be together…

Its hard to believe its 5 years…

Sometimes it seems like yesterday…

Sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago…

Sometimes am not sure anymore, sometimes the road seems too rough, sometimes love seems too hard, sometimes the issues seem endless, and sometimes the pain seems unbearable…

But…

I still Luv you

I still want you

I still see a future with you

Remembering today and always that my definition of luv is YOU

Happy anniversary baby

We are officially a break now

2009-03-31T02:49:00.000-07:00

I asked for a break…. Our anniversary is in 2 weeks….14^th of April to be precise…

I need to sort my head out….do I still want this…..can I spend the rest of my life with him….

I need to pray…..maybe should fast….

I cant get over the heart-wrenching way he sounded on the phone…he seemed so broken…so….he just couldn’t understand what I need a break for…maybe cuz I couldn’t explain it as well….in his opinion things couldn’t be better….

But then a man that cannot give a girl a 2 week break from a straight non stop 5 year relationship…is he in luv with her or obsessed with her???

I hate being the cause of someone’s pain

I cant concentrate at work…

Its beginning to feel like cheating

2009-03-25T03:22:00.000-07:00

There is this guy “E” – used to be my friend…well still is my friend..but we’v taken it a notch higher…we talk on phone like 4 times daily and the night conversations are quite long…

We see every weekend (not my fault tho..we take weekend classes at the same place..that is how we met)

I find myself looking forward to these chats

He is single

He is intelligent

He is matured

He is a good xtian

He is nice and caring

He doesn’t know I have a boyfriend

He is not asking me out

But he fancies me (I think)

I feel like am cheating but am not am I?

The four Meme

2009-03-19T01:33:00.000-07:00

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. Unfortunately or should I say fortunately (am not sure which) am still at my first job - consultant

FOUR FICTIONAL JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. President of Nigeria.
2.Editor, Mills and Boons
3. Beyonce’s wardrope designer
4. MD Hilton worldwide

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. Lagos
2. Kaduna
3.Osun
4. London

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. One tree Hill
2. Prison Break
3. 24
4. Lost

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO (I WISH)
1. London
2. Dubai
3. South Africa
4. America(I WISH)

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. Bloggs Ville
2.Google
3. Facebook
4. Yahoo

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Chicken
2. Pepper Soup
3.Rice
4. Chips

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. Cereals of any kind
2. Swallow food of any kind
3. Un-cooked onions
4. Water melon

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1. Chicken
2. Rice and dodo
3. Nkwobi
4. Diet coke

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. Bed
2. Novels
3. Clothes
4. Shoes

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. A carton of novels I haven’t read
2. A pile of series I haven’t washed
3. Book Shelves
4. More space.

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. A black (very sexy) bra
2. Matching thongs
3. Brown pants
4. Pink shirt

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. Dubai (shopping)
2. Paris (on vacation)
3. At home watching a series
4. In bed reading a novel

FOUR FICTIONAL PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. In Wonderland with Alice.
2.In prison with Scofield
3. Lost on the magical island with Jack
4.White house with Obama

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1. Its Thursday almost a weekend
2. If only I dint have to go to classes this weekend I’d have gone clubbing tomorrrow
3. Am I making the most of my youth?
4. Damn! Haven’t read bible today

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS
1. Novels
2. Clothes
3. Cars
4. Shoes

FOUR THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. I cry when reading novel or watching films
2. I react to nickel in jewellery (hence I wear only Gold)
3. I am greatly discomforted when flying
4. I am afraid to sleep alone in a big house

FOUR PEOPLE YOU TAG
1. You
2. You
3.You
4. And You

Help

2009-03-04T05:44:00.000-08:00

They say an elder does not learn to use left hand in his old age…yea whateva that means. I need help trying to stop some bad habits such as

Being scattered (My mum says no man would put up with this) – am not dirty (cant stand dirt) but am scattered. My wardrobe is upside down, even when I fold them stuff..i always upturn everything when am looking for what to wear

My room is disorganized, I have books, shoes, stuff generally…everywhere

Even my car booth is disorganized

Also I need help with nail biting – cant seem to beat this

Impatience – this is not even a habit….its a terrible vice

Being undecided – or should I say finding it hard to make decisions and sticking by them. Especially when it has to do with change

Does Family Background matter?

2009-02-24T02:34:00.000-08:00

People say if you want to see what a girl will look like after child bearing, go look at her mother. If people want to get married, they usually go to investigate the family, if the person is from a divorced family likelihood that the marriage wont last is there. If the father beats the mother, it is more likely than not that the guy is gonna beat you when he gets married to you.

I used to think all these were just shitload of crap. Afterall you are marrying a person and not his family but mehn I’ve changed my mind. To a certain degree family background does matter, upbringing does distill some values in you that school, church, and mosque, whatever cannot.

Down to the issue of culture/ tribe / religion. I always knew I’ll never compromise religion cuz when the chips are down, we may as well be calling on the same God.

I am not tribalistic, my Boo is Yoruba while am not but this different tribe thingy does have its effect, diverse cultural expectations, kneel down, stand up, whatever! and I imagine it will be hard especially if one does not understand the language.

I guess everything can be managed sha but it is always good to think about them so that one knows what he/she is getting into.

Violent men

2009-02-09T23:21:00.000-08:00

1. Have you ever been hit by your boyfriend / Husband? If yes were you able to work away or did you forgive him?

2. Would your answer be different if you felt he were genuinely sorry?

3. If you forgave the first time can you forgive a second time (say an interval of 1.5 years)?

First Rule of Break up

2009-01-14T08:04:00.000-08:00

I did say I have never done this before…nobody warned me the first rule of break up which is don’t see him…

Well he came to my office last week fri after 2 hours of pulling the right strings (he sure knows the right strings to pull after all its been five years) my heart had to melt…

I feel weak like I cant take a decision and stand by it…

I however take solace in the fact that he was really shaken and believed I was really and truly ready to move on

But between me and you, he is on probation…..any hint of insecurity I would just start dating somebody else..maybe that’s the only way I will be able to move on.

Well so far he has been on his best behavior…I haven’t driven this week…he gets to my house 5.30am to pick me up…drops me at work and takes me back home (he says he will do this for this whole week)…he has really been amazing…but am skeptical as to how long “ this amazing behavior will last” will last

Anyways I will keep u guys posted

Am about to break up with my boyfriend….

2009-01-07T04:27:00.000-08:00

I still love him and I know for sure he still loves me

I have never had to do this before cuz he is/was my first boyfriend

We have been together for 5 yrs

Thing is I earn significantly more than him…(It doesn’t matter to me tho) but to the male ego Its crazy…I have tried to manage the situation…really really tried but there are complex and insecurity issues I feel I cant deal with this new year…

Its beginning to feel like he doesn’t wish me well cuz of his state

I am worried….and sad……..but it feels like its time to move on…before luv turns to hate

Its been an amazing 2008.

2008-12-22T09:03:00.000-08:00

Wonderful unexpected things happened to me this year

Completion of NYSC, job promotion, numerous job offers, ICAN prize, my brother got admission, traveled up and down and came back safely, the whole world got married, and many many more…….

My RESOLUTIONS are

No biting of nails anymore
No encouragement of toasters anymore
Total independence from my parents
Change my church
No storing of undies anymore (LOL)
Pay my tithe regularly
Change jobs before the end of the year
Join a gym in January
Go on a vacation

In 2009 I hope to be a better person to myself, to God, to my employers, to my boyfriend, parents, friends and family.

I pray for more outstanding success in my exams, job, everything (to never blend in with the crowd)

I pray for a miracle for my Boo

I pray I can still buy my new car in January

I pray danfo drivers, okadas and crazy drivers stay the hell away from me

I pray we move into our new home latest to June

I pray I get the relationship with God I crave

I pray for even bigger and more amazing testimonies next year

As regards my last post…for those that wanted my answers here you go…

NO WAY
Was in that situation....
Am in that situation right now
No

Here is wishing all bloggers merry xmas and happy new year. My all expectations for the remaining days of 2008 not be cut shot andmay the new year bring forth much better days IJN

See y’all in 2009.

Much Luv

Doll

Have you or can you?....

2008-12-15T05:46:00.000-08:00

....

Date a student?
As a worker (female) date a student (male)? Would your answer be different if you were in school together and you graduated 3 yrs before him due to some factors beyond anyone's control
Date a broke guy? (as in a guy that 70% of the time you have to pick the tabs when you guys go out)?
Can you give you give your boyfriend money? (regularly?)

....

She got pregnant

2008-11-30T23:37:00.000-08:00

There is this Hausa/ Arab family that used to live about 2 doors away from mine in an uncompleted building. Their dad was the gate man of the building. The woman had about 8 daughters, 3 were married. Being in interested in women issues as I am I took interest in the remaining 4. The oldest Fatima was 13 and her parents were trying to force her to marry a man who had 2 wives (a guard also leaving in one room not too far from my house as well.

Anyways Mumc and I started talking to her mum and prevailed on her to let her daughters go to school, how it was too early for them to marry and etc.

To cut the long story short Fatima felt she was too old to go to school that she would rather learn a trade so voila she started learning how to sew at my Mumc’s school.

The other 4 girls Memunat 10, Miriam 9. Hauwa and her twin (Aisha) both 7 were quite enthusiastic about school. Unfortunately Aisha is crippled polio from birth so that was out of it). Their mum said she needed someone to help her with the household chores Memunat was elected for that so only Hauwa and Miriam could go to school.

Hauwa bless her soul has never disappointed me for one day. She comes to the house over the weekend shows me her school books, reads to me from the reader, brings her result home. She is a real sharp girl

The disappointment was Fatima. She would tell her mum that she is going to my mumc’s shop then go to man’s house. She would leave shop and say she is going home and go to man’s house. We never knew on and on like that until she got pregnant.

We got blamed. There is nothing her mum did not say. We should have let her marry her daughter off then…see now who is going to marry her.. she is now a laughing stock…the woman wept and wept. She took the girl for abortion sha. Now the others may have to stop school and get married. Its so sad and dissapointing

But I guess you can’t win them all

Back

2008-11-24T23:40:00.000-08:00

Hey peeps, am back…in full swing…. Exams went well. Praise God!!!!
Am sure a lot happened in my absence. So let me get right to my blog rounds

5Is then am MIA

2008-10-27T01:41:00.000-07:00

I keep only neat naira notes in my wallet; for the scruffy ones I keep them in a brown envelope which I carry in my handbag

I am a perpetual hoarder of change. For some strange reasons I find it very hard to spend change (the neat ones by the way) except if am boxed to the corner. At the end of last year I had about ten thousand naira in 20s, 10s and 50s

I luv reading – preferably fiction. I can read for 12 hours without moving from the spot

I hate all forms of swallow foods – pounded yam, amala, cereals of all kind

I am addicted to series – my best remains one tree hill followed closely by prison break

I wash underwear once in a month on environmental Saturdays precisely to the exasperation of my mother (she claims no man will tolerate that) I have a laundry basket which underwear goes to. I like to blame my busy schedule for it but I know it’s a dirty habit and I’l put it on my list of New Year resolution next year

The offer for the bank job I mentioned earlier lapses today. So I guess I won’t be changing jobs.

I will be MIA for about 4 weeks. My exams are in 3 weeks. I am on study leave so no blogging for me in the interim….

P.S I wonder what happened to risquediva, Naija chickito, the way they stopped blogging did not seem right. I just hope they are still breathing cuz if something happens to any anonymous blogger like death how would blogville know (just a thought); even Afro has been MIA for a while now

What if?

2008-10-20T02:56:00.000-07:00

When you luv someone so much that your definition of luv becomes the person and you know the person luvs you even more and has shown it a million and one times by words and actions?

Is it wrong to be tired not of the person or the luv but of the issues that trail the person?

Is it wrong to feel bugged down that are yours by virtue of being in luv with someone?

What if the memories of the time were there were no issues kept teasing you?

What if you can’t stop wondering why the issues with the one you luv seems to be endless?

What if you felt like walking away from it all?

What if the world is beckoning?

What if there were numerous toasters out there that seem to be offering you an issueless life?

But you know if you walk away you will never get to the point that you will stop worrying about his welfare, if he coping with the issues well, If he is eating, if he is breathing?

What if you will miss him so much and you are not sure that you will luv another much or another will luv you that much?

Is this fear of the unknown or a prisoner of Luv?

Jesus help with the issues Please!!!!!!!

No appealing title its just random

2008-10-13T07:33:00.000-07:00

When I went to do comprehensive medicals for the bank job I spoke about earlier (for those who asked I haven’t declined the offer, so the jury is still out) the results said I was AA (genotype) I’ve done this test previously and the results said AA then the lab technician called me the next day to say there was a mix up and that I was AS, I just accepted it anyways. So after the new result I decided to do the test in 2 different hospitals again and the result came out as AA.

All these years I’ve been thinking I was AS, iv taken important decisions that affect my life (who to date, etc based on that. Am a little irritated but thankful sha.

Last week Boo’s kid sister (16 yrs) was diagnosed with Tuberculosis. They decided to seek a second and third specialist opinion and the results of the last two said it wasn’t tuberculosis that what the first Dr saw in the x-ray result was the lungs of an asthmatic patient (the girl is asthmatic). Another medical mistake. Am just thankful cuz the family was already panicking.

For a while, iv been having muscle pull on my left ankle while sleeping, it has happened about 4 times now in the space of 2 months, the last was two days ago and that still hurts, I’ve had to discard my high heels, maybe I should see a doctor about it abi what do u guys think?

Its about 5 weeks to my exams, between my stressful job and reading when I get home till the wee hours of the night, waking up early to beat the traffic, the hellish, unavoidable 3^rd mainland bridge, trying to make a decision as regards the future of my career, being a comforter, listener, attention giver and lover to my Boo (who is undergoing a trying time right now), being the dutiful only daughter to my parents and keeping lustful men at arm lengths my life is pretty busy now and hectic. I wouldn’t wish my life as its looking this week on anyone

Have a good week people.

Baby am i a prude?

2008-10-02T04:52:00.000-07:00

I met my primary school classmate sometime last week, on the Island and he still lives in my area, he works in a global accounting firm (like I do) and for the 30 mins or there about that we talked he made sense, sounded intelligent and all. Anyways we decide to see during this long sallah hols to catch up on old times.
Anyways on Monday I went to his house, and we go to the bedroom, no chair, so we sit on the bed and before you can say Jack Robinson this individual started hitting on me big time – Sexually.

It was just amazing. I mean an individual that I met after 12 0r 13 years and the first opportunity we have to discuss like civilized human beings am being sexually harassed. Does going to a guy’s house suggest or imply that you want to have sex with him. I mean it wasn’t like I was indecently dressed; I wore jeans shorts and t-shirt. Anyways I tried to tell him civilly that I wasn’t that type of girl, the idiot actually thought I was fronting and intensified his pursuit. I had to fight him off and almost gave him some slaps before he could leave me alone. Then he called me a PRUDE
I was so irritated I had to talk to someone so I called Boo later in the day and went “this morning I went to see my primary skl friend I found last week at his place.” I hadn’t even finished the statement when that one sparked “WTF” how can you go to a guy’s place without telling me.. Shoo…we don marry? Ok that was in my mind…in reality I went “ he lives in the neighborhood I just strolled down” this bobo no calm down he went on and on about how what I did was wrong, how it was wrong to go to a man’s house alone, worse off without telling him, I tried to chip in that this fellow was a primary school friend not a toaster; for where he dint listen, he was really mad. How could I then tell him the sexual harassment I faced? He would have said I brought it on myself, so I just kept mum.
But I must have missed out something somewhere in life judging from Boo’s reaction and the idiot of my primary school friend’s attitude going to a man’s house must be an open invitation saying come and screw me….Its so saddening and pathetic, but I guess I’ve learnt my lesson

Anyways to the main gist of the day. An ex-toaster has called me a prude before…this guys made a couple of kissing / smooching advances which I refuted and I liked d guy a lot den. Anyways after this incident that that idiot called me a prude again I had to go check the dictionary for the meaning. It means Someone who is overly concerned with decorum and propriety, uncomfortable with sexuality, nudity, drug use or mischief

After reading that I wasn’t too sure if it was a good thing or not, the more I thought about it the more I hated being thought of or called a prude

So I called Boo this morning: “baby do you think am a prude?” and he goes “wow where did that come from?” and I go “just answer” And he goes NO, not at all baby you are fire….LOL and I am like serious I need to know
Anyways long and short according to him its hard to figure me out, I am like a chameleon, sometimes I wear my effiko profile, sometimes party wild girl, other times shy don’t touch me girl. But that after being with me for this long he can say I am a very cautious person and that it takes me time to relax with a guy and loose my inhibitions but when I do I am like a bird let out of the cage…so his answer is NOT REALLY. I guess I should be happy that I am not dulling this young man but am not sure what I really wanted to hear or if I am thrilled being on any side ( the prude side or the Not really prude side)

Reflecting on my life

2008-09-22T03:29:00.000-07:00

Iv kept a prayer journal/ spiritual diary since 2005 cuz sometimes I ask God for things and I forget to be grateful enough or I forget my state of mind or how troubled, needy, desperate I was when I prayed.

Anyways over the weekend I read everything iv written about 50 pages and believe me God has been faithful. Everything I have asked of him he has given me. In 2005 I wanted to have the best result in my academic history and he gave me all A’s and a GP of 5. I wanted to graduate with a certain CGPA and he made it possible, I wanted to pass my ACCA exam and I did, I wanted to get a job immediately after skl and I got it, my NYSC year he took control of all the impromptu and numerous travellings, my boyfriends issues he resolved, our finances at home he has taken care of, my brothers admission has been settled and the list goes on and on. GOD HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME. I luv u Jesus.

Pls people tell me what can I do to my hair? Its light, its short. I have stunted hair growth. Because of the nature of the hair I never leave it unmade, always on braids or weaveon which doesn’t help matters I know, last wk I was so irritated I chopped the thing into half with scissors all by myself to give it sharp ends. I wish I could cut it all off, but am so scared it wont grow back. Maybe I should let the relaxed part fall of then carry it natural. Am so fed up

Answers & some more

2008-09-11T03:12:00.001-07:00

Thanks Y’all for your comment in my last post. (how do I do this link thing self?) This love interest of mine is actually an ex-toaster. When he was asking me out in 2006 I kinda liked him and believe me when I say I like him loads more now than then. He is tall (Not as tall as my boyfriend tho), interesting to talk to (Compared to a lots of guys I know who are just bores! God they should take lessons from him), he has a good job, has a nice ride, looks good and most importantly he is so so so so very very intelligent (am a sucker for intelligent guys who are not too nerdish)

Don’t worry am not going to cheat on my boyfriend, He has a girlfriend now anyways. And I do believe in KARMA. Its just annoying that I can be attracted (you people said its attraction not luv right?) to him for this long. Anyways that is that…

In response to your questions in “Meme about Me” Why did I wait for 4 years before having sex with my boyfriend? We started dating when I was 17 and he was 22. wouldn’t it have been child abuse? LOL. Ok seriously sex I have always believe goes hand in hand with luv. I’v loved him for a long while and I knew he felt the same way but I wanted to be ready; whateva that means.

2^nd question; Having waited for that long why not save it till marriage. My dear in a way I’v always wanted to keep my virginity till marriage bed but after our 4^th anniversary I began to wonder, what if we don’t make it (I mean marriage) you know sometimes love is not sufficient, what you want is not what you get, man proposes Fate/ God disposes and all that. After all we’v been thru together I dint want anybody else to be my first, besides I had gotten to the point where I wont have any regrets, or wish I could undo the deed, or any such reaction if he had said immediately after sex “DOLL I don’t want you again, this is goodbye”. I was READY. LOL. Though btw me & u: during the 2 wks spotting aftermath I had some regrets. LOL

Today is one of them days when I don’t feel too great. Am lacking clarity as regards what I want to do with my life, I luv my job, the pay is good but the hours are way too long. I have worked for 2 years today (today is my Job anniversary). Last week I got a job at a bank (research and budget planning unit). The pay is 150% increase to my salary. Its unbelievably way too much money for a girl my age I tell you. LOL But the thing is am not exactly sure I want to work in the bank, I know its not marketing or something but it still feels like it’s a wrong move, my job feels wrong, this feels wrong too, I dunno what I want to do with my career, I want to do my own thing cuz this white collar job is not it, but WHAT, WHERE, HOW, Why???? I dunno.

This has got to be my longest post eva. Apologies. Have a gd weekend people.

SO I attended 2 bridal showers this week and its just Wednesday

2008-09-03T06:53:00.000-07:00

Am not ready for marriage but these days I seem to always be talking bout marriage. I put the blame 100% on the alarming number of weddings I attended last month and the even scarier number am going to attend this month (all my salary these days goes to aso-ebi for real)No am not ready to be married but 2 many pple around me are getting married.

Anyways back to the main gist I attended 2 bridal showers earlier this week. It was so much fun with the usual girlie things, where did you meet, how and stuff.

Time comes for the married young women in our midst to give advice to the bride to-be. There were about ten married folks and they all spoke at length but one statement was common to all of them: “YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR MAN UNTIL YOU START LIVING WITH HIM” now that is some scary shit. How is it possible that the man you have dated (possibly for a long time), that you love, that loves you, that you have shared so many precious moments with will become a stranger just because you are now living under the same roof????? But for ten of them to say it I guess there must be some truth in it. SCARY DEFINITELY SCARY!!!!

You need to see us the unmarried ones scribbling on our notes like it was some lecture we will be examined on. Anyways with all the impeding marriages in blogville I may as well share what I took away (in my notebook) from this shower.

1. Marry a man that is absolutely crazy bout you (don’t compromise this)
2. All men are babies; pamper them and you will get your way
3. Never deny your husband sex and food even when you guys are not in best of terms (really?)
4. Make a conscious effort not to nag
5. Be submissive (don’t emasculate him)
6. Take care of your body and pay attention to your appearance (gym regularly, eat healthy, plan your meals, wear fine cloth, do fine hair styles etc)
7. Compromise (very important)
8. Be accommodating (if you are the quiet, stay at home person and your is the type that draw crowds, prepare to cook and clean after his friends all weekend; don’t chase him out)
9. Be efficient (house work, cooking, catering, pampering and all that can really be tiring esp. for a working wife)
10. Be prayerful and watchful (the onus is on the woman to not allow the devourer enter your home)
11. Have the mindset of “It will work” and “nothing is unresolvable”

Meme bout me

2008-08-29T01:35:00.000-07:00

I AM.... cerebral, fun loving, introvert, extrovert, indoor person, outdoor person, am too dynamic

MY EX WAS... No ex sorry! (am still with my first boyfriend)

MAYBE I SHOULD... Give up my life here and move to Vegas

I LOVE... People who love me

I DONT UNDERSTAND... What I want to do with my career…really

I LOST MY.... Virginity two months ago damn!!!

MY CURRENT BOYFRIEND IS.... My first boyfriend

WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR… 4 and half years (a lifetime really)

AND HE IS….. My soulmate

PEOPLE SAY IM.... A great person

LOVE IS... An awesome thing – everyone should partake in this feeling

SOMEWHERE, SOMEONE IS... wishing i would jus give them that chance

I WILL ALWAYS.... Be myself

FOREVER IS.... Not always

I NEVER WANT TO.... Look back and have regrets

WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING... I feel like going back to bed

LIFE IS FULL OF.... Surprises

MY PAST IS... good enough to tell my grandkids, too dull to write a book

I GET ANNOYED WHEN.... People annoy me (but hardly sha!)

PARTIES ARE FOR.... dancing (I guess)

GIRLS ARE..... girls….will always be

SEX IS... Lips sealed

I WISH.... I could go back to being a teenager (life was carefree then)

TOMORROW IM GOING TO..... Make my hair (It’s a weekend)

I REALLY WANT SOME.... I dunno

I HAVE NO TOLERANCE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE.... For people who are laggards

I AM NOT.... a bad girl

IF I HAD 100 MILLION DOLLARS... I’d begin my dream of providing education for less privileged girls & women empowerment programmes

MY JOB MAKES ME.... There must be easier and less stressful ways to make this money

Random thoughts

2008-08-21T09:24:00.001-07:00

Dressing up this morning, I got extremely upset, to find what to wear is now war. I need a wardrobe overhaul. I hate buying clothes in Nigeria because most times when I go shopping I end up buying stuff just for the sake of it not that they were absolutely irresistible. I’ve been saving to go to Dubai but the rate at which this whole job thingy is going I doubt I’ll have time to travel this year. So am going shopping next weekend, sisters resident in Naija help a girl out, with the list and location of your favorite shops pls.

Now I understand why parents get over anxious bout their children, my younger bother is sixteen. Just completed secondary school, going to Uni next month. Somehow I was in possession of his phone for a short time and I snooped. (I normally don’t do this but I was curious for some strange reasons) anyways the text messages I saw on that phone made me a little worried. Different girls, different erotic messages. Children of these days! God help us, they are not conservative at all.

On a lighter note I have this bad habit I’v been trying to kick for 2 years now. I never noticed this until I started corporate work. I cant seem to leave my feet in my shoes. Once I sit down, unconsciously I take them shoes off. I’v tried to combat the problem by buying shoes with strap but unfortunately I don’t even realize when I take them off. Pls don’t tell me to go for flat corporate shoes. I absolutely hate them.

I have three weddings this weekend, plus ICAN classes 8am to 8pm. I don’t know how I’l juggle them. All these social responsibility is a huge blackmail, so is personal development. Maybe I’l skip all of them and read a novel at home. With the terrible week I had I guess it wont be too bad. Peace people. Enjoy the weekend.

i cant comprehend

2008-08-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

Ok so i have this friend i met at A level class, very beauriful girl. we went to the same uni. at least for 100 level. she was the reigning chic on campus then cuz really she is beauriful, gorgeous, all in all.

Anyways she left for America after 100 level, we kept in touch for a while, after which correspondence ceased. Her mails started bouncing back (email de-activated), her no became incorrect.

After 3 years of incommunicado. I get a facebook add last week from her. I was so happy. went on to check he rpage out. Girl friend is now so sexy and gorgeous. i mean all dose baby fat has disappeared, she is so slim now (maybe a size 2) and healthily so. Her stomach is as flat as a board, her complexion is glowing. without wasting time i begin to leave photo comments. (meanwhile i need to register at a gym o!)

After checking out a couple of pictures i realized she is a stripper / lap dancer / hostess in one club like that in DC. I mean d pictures were all but nude with tags like "me preparing for my lap dance", "me before the next set", "me with a customer before a private viewing", "my stunt double", "me and my dancing partner" (this dancing partner is a hunk of a man wearing thong), 'me and my pdancing pole", etc.

I was quite taken aback, cuz this is a buriful intelligent girl, from a wealthy family (am sure if i type her surname here everyone will go really, cuz her popc is well known) with the world at her finger tips and now this is what she has become. The curious me that i am i quickly did some research on the club she works for and got an article (interview) that she granted the press last year. In it she says she ran away from home cuz her popc was stifling her, Africa also stifles freedom of women and that she is very adventourous and innovative. so she bought a one way ticket to DC and never looked back, that her dad tried to get her but she wouldnt come back home, now she is free and living the life.

I guess i should be happy for her, she seems quite happy and fufillled but i turned and tossed that night, ( i tend to overburden myself with people's issue sometimes) wondering what the future will hold for her and stuff). am really toubled o! we used to be really really good friends at some point

But really for a buriful 21 yr old girl from a rich home to abandon studies and become a stripper. is it no big deal? i'd luv to hear especially for people in Diaspora. Maybe its just troubling me cuz i reside in Naija. am sure am over reactin abi?

what happened??

2008-08-11T09:43:00.000-07:00

I have no friend again. seems i have bought an unusual no of aso-ebi this year. Every one seems to be getting married, school friends, office friends, childhood friends. The others seem to have left the country for masters or something else. what happened to the time we could all hang out on sat (all girls) and gist about our boyfriends, our toasters? our future?

That said i have no new toaster (only the over recycled ones). that seems weird. I mean once upon a time i had 3 toasters per day. What happened to the weekends i used to be so bugged about which toaster to actually hang out with (when my sweetheart is not around tho) . i blame this plight on my 8am to 10pm job (i need to change jobs i think)

what happened to the weekends i could lounge at home, read novels, watch dvds, sleep, exercise, go shopping.....now i have to attend acca classes. 8am to 8pm Saturdays and Sundays?

Am I chasing after vanity? cuz now it seems there is money but no time to spend it.

no excitement, nothing to look forward to like that, just routine
Am bored, dissatisfied, anxious, on edge, and uneasy, paranoid, everything and am just 22. Seems my life moved to fast for me

or maybe cuz my sweetheart left Lagos today.

I guess the long and short of this post is that i miss him already

Let me stalk more blogs. see y'all l8r

the right mix of motherhood and career

2008-08-05T03:31:00.000-07:00

SINCE blogville and the entire world seems to be getting married ( I’v bought over 13 aso-ebi this year alone) we may as well talk about motherhood and work

How do women….working women that is juggle career and motherhood especially when the kids are young???

When I was younger…. Two weeks before my 6^th birthday I was sexually molested by our houseboy…… he asked me to come and lick icecream (his dick) after one taste I cried that I dint like that type of icecream. After a few tears he asked me to take off my clothes and lie down on my stomach that he would give me the one I will prefer…..i did…this asshole was actually going to penetrate my ass-hole….i was 2 wks shy of 6 years (in fact party preparations were on going for my sixth birthday) and he was 22…..But before he could….. my brother came in and raised alarm……my parents were told when they got back…needless to say he was properly dealt with….the police were invited….my dad gave him some razor blade marks before the police arrived tho….

I have another friend that was usually left in the care of her mumc’s younger brother after school….pending when her parents get home from work this guy….her uncle raped her an raped her friend…school friend not once not twice not thrice…..she was 9, he was 27, her friend was 8….she couldn’t tell her mum, it was her friend that summoned up courage to tell her mum and that’s how the whole thing blew open her mum dint mention it to her father till today……because the guy is her brother and she was scared of his reaction tho she almost killed the guy with a pestle….when neighbors gathered she said the guy stole from her

Last year, a church member’s house girl threw her son down the stairs in a fleet of anger, one foot is now longer than the other…..

….And there are many more stories like that....

Pls do tell me how do you intend to juggle motherhood and career….am curious?

What is your take?

2008-07-30T02:00:00.000-07:00

IMAO in any relationship(for ladies), the guy should like you more than you like him (sounds old school right???) but marriage is for the rest of your life……..think about this…..when a guy is asking you is a totally different ball game from when you are actually dating not to talk of when you are married (as in you have his name…as your last name)…if he is not mad ass into you now….when in God’s name will he be? After your breasts are sagged from breastfeeding or your tummy extended from child bearing???? This is not to imply in any way that you shouldn’t luv your boyfriend or be into him……cuz if you don’t feel anything for him….his luv will make you sick and disgusted…….but damn….let him luv you more…..or worst case scenario be in a position where its difficult to say who luvs who more………

How do you know when you are more into him than he is?

The most tell tale sign is: When you always wait for your phone to ring…..fighting hard to resist the temptation to call….cuz you called last (or you seem to be the one doing all the calling)… or he hasn’t called for a while and you don’t want to seem so obvious

….Others…..
His phone is always on silent when you are together……

He is always too busy to see you….work…pressure….rest…endless excuses…you always seem to be the one eager to see him….setting up dates, etc

You have been dating for a while but you have never met anyone in his family……

He doesn’t go out of his way to do anything for you

His ex is still somehow in the picture….and you cant comprehend that…..

You are somehow insecure….unhappy….unsure….

……and the list goes on…..

so if you are in a relationship where you are obviously more into the guy than he is into you my take is get out of it….like right now……

WHAT IS YOUR TAKE?

a girl, a ring

2008-07-23T10:06:00.000-07:00

something wonderful happened at work today…a girl got a ring….this girl J, got proposed to by a kiss…her boyfriend came to take out for lunch and after dropping her off wanted a goodbye kiss…in the process of kissing he left her with something….a ring in her mouth (Unique innit?) by the time she brought it out of her mouth and figured it was an engagement ring the bobo was on his knees……. I mean I’v heard a lot of proposal styles but this is…….unique……exclusive…….

So when a girl gets engaged, does she sleep that night….??????

I tried to imagine the scenario on the day I will get the ring ……it better be romantic (Temi hear dis o! ) if not I will sya no (for real)…LOL

That night…..i imagine I will turn and toss…..and turn…..and wonder…..is he the right choice…how will d future be….how many kids….will he change….will I change…..and many more…..

I imagine anxiety……anticipation….joy….worry….and my overactive imagination will keep me awake…but then I can never tell until it happens right?????

Back by popular demand! (Lol)

2008-07-16T03:23:00.000-07:00

Am sorry for taking a hiatus without notice……why did I do that???
1. I got tired of updating (Crazy innit? Since no body held a gun to my head for update)
2. Work pressure (it was choking)
3. Was curious to know if delete blog will actually delete the entire blog (blame Uzezi for this)
4. Blogging wasn’t as therapeutic as I expected it to be (maybe cuz I was not as open as I should have been)
5. Many more reasons I cant remember
So am I forgiven????

A brief memory refresher….Am 22, done with school, done with nysc, have a job I don’t particularly like because the hours are long but the take home is very good so …..
I have a boyfriend (5 years older) whom I’v been dating for four years, who is caring, loving, patient, sexy, everything………..LOL….
I love listening to music, reading, watching football, dancing
I hate cooking but am a good cook (no need to be modest here!)
I am unnecessarily compassionate (people’s problem keeps me awake and tossing, far into the night) even people am not close to or I don’t particularly care about
I forgive people easily (2 ways. Either I don’t care enough about you to keep a grudge or I care about you too much to be mad at you)
I am the most impatient person ever (believe me)

I’l sign off on that note